Saying Hello

A mid-week check-in with you all

Writing this Substack to you after waking up. Sipping tea in pajamas, toothpaste on my sweatshirt. A Wednesday morning portrait.

Good morning, everyone. I hope you’re having a good week and all is wonderful.

I wanted to check in to say hi, to see how you’re doing, and what you’re feeling excited about these days.

I didn’t post yesterday because I was at a loss for a topic to write about. The reason for that is I’m currently in the midst of finding a workspace, looking at links and visiting potential spots, writing lists of pros and cons, visualizing myself in these different environments - writing words, writing music, writing plans and ideas. My mind has been spinning around with these visions and questions, and I found it difficult in that moment to settle into writing my posts in a way that felt decent and worthy. I’m sure you know the feeling. <3

So today is a check-in post with you all to see how you are doing, to see what you are needing, wanting, hoping for, wishing for, looking forward to. Is there any topic you would like to talk about, discuss, delve into together?

While looking for a place to work, I’ve been thinking of a quote from Henry that I always think about in times like this.  The lines are from his essay ‘A Poet Buying a Farm,’ originally published in Sartain's Union Magazine in August 1852. Two years later these words became the first part of the second and most important chapter of Walden, ‘Where I Lived, and What I Lived For,’ a bit of writing that has long been dear to me. These words and the ideas within them bring me comfort in moments of confusion, when nearly every option ahead seems viable, though it’s unclear which individual option is most crucial and urgent.

‘At a certain season of our life we are accustomed to consider every post as the possible site of a house. I have thus surveyed the country on every side within a dozen miles of where I live. In imagination I have bought all the farms in succession, for all were to be bought, and I knew their price….Wherever I sat, I might live, and the landscapes radiated me accordingly.’

-Henry David Thoreau

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There is a personal and sentimental story tied to these words for me that I will share in detail at a later time, but today I wanted to share this idea in case it is of any comfort and support to you when ruminating over options and trying to make a decision. It doesn’t have to be about this specific idea of real estate, it can be applied I find to anything we need. Sometimes it’s difficult to choose one path when different options seem wonderful in imagination. From the simplest thing of deciding where to go for lunch, to something more complicated like whether to buy a little house in the woods or rent an apartment in the city. Whether to move away from everyone you know, or lay down roots amongst the place you know the best. Which plot to write about for a novel, whether to work on instrumental music or songs with words. Whether to build on a skill you already have, or start learning a new one that is haunting your curiosity. Something personal, professional, health related, creative, romantic, anything. Sometimes we are really looking and waiting for that perfect feeling, when you just ‘know.’ Trusting in our intuition and instinct, following our heart’s YES. Sometimes that intuitive YES feels a little hazy because we can just visualize any option working out, and following the path of each idea, we can see it leading us someplace wonderful and brilliant in life. It’s beautiful to imagine, but we can’t do everything. That’s where the trust element really shows up, when we have faith that if we simply listen to our hearts and just pick something, that our decision will lead us to the next step, the next thing, and everything will continue to make sense and fall into place if we just move things along forward in one direction. To take the time needed to integrate the information and reflect, and then to pick something, listening to our hearts with body mind and spirit, trusting that everything will be alright. Making decisions can be so difficult, and we really do show up for ourselves in the most awesome way when we are definite. There will always be something to learn from the decisions we choose, and they will always lead us to the lessons and experiences that are meant for us to have.

Is there anything in your life that you need to make a decision about right now? It can be a big or small decision, anything at all. A career choice, a life decision. A paint color for a room or a canvas. Whether to adopt a dog or a cat. Anything at all. Do you have trouble making decisions and choices? Are you good at being definite and decisive? Do you have any ritual or steps you use to make decisions when you feel torn? Share any thoughts and experiences in the comments.

Thank you all for being here, for your support, encouragement, enthusiasm, and participation in these life navigations. As for decisions, I’m going to put these mugs in the dishwasher, put my sweatshirt in the laundry, exercise for 1 hour, take a shower, get back to work and get clear on the next steps ahead. It’s a good day to make some choices! :) Sending lots of good energy to you all. :)

***I did some research just now and learned that St. Ignatius Loyola is the Patron Saint of Decision Making while St. Clare of Assisi is the Patron Saint of Indecisiveness. Upon further research I found more patron saints - for difficult decisions, poor choices, etc. This just goes to show how much guidance and light we are searching for in those moments, wanting all the support we can find!! It can be scary to breathe and trust ourselves, but with practice and patience, we can become better and stronger at being definite. <3