Remembering Mary

A nod of remembrance for the lead singer of The Shangri-Las

The Shangri-Las - Valdosta State University

On January 19, Mary Weiss, the lead singer of the 60’s girl group, The Shangri-Las, died in California at the age of 75. She was born here in New York City in 1948, in Cambria Heights, Queens. Her dad died when she was 6, and her mother raised the 3 children on her own, Mary’s brother listening to Elvis and performing songs with his friends, Mary singing in school plays. She also sang in the school choir, and she went to see the Everly Brothers perform when she was 14. Mary and her sister Betty went to Andrew Jackson High School, where they met identical twin sisters Mary Ann and Margie Ganser, and together, the four of them formed a group in 1963. They sang at local school dances and hops and talent shows, performing without a name. Very soon after getting together, producer Artie Ripp helped sign them a record deal, recording their first song in December 1963. They released their first song in the beginning of 1964, and named themselves after a local restaurant in Queens called Shangri-La.  

Their most well known song of course is ‘Leader of the Pack,’ which went to #1 in US and #11 in UK, when it was released in September, 1964. They had other beloved songs, too, like ‘Remember (Walking in the Sand),’ and ‘I Can Never Go Home Anymore.’ <3 I like the way a journalist named John Robb described them in a tribute to Mary: ‘....their chewing gum teen gang swagger contrasted with an aching vulnerability…..’ 

Betty Weiss, Mary Ann Ganser, Marge Ganser, Mary Weiss

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My introduction to The Shangri-Las was in 2003 when I was 15. I tried out being in a school play when I was in middle school, and though there were elements of the production aspect that I liked, I knew it wasn’t for me. I felt nervous of course, though a little too uncomfortable in my shoes around acting and delivering lines, knowing very well that I was adding nothing but self conscious awkwardness to the scenes.

Everything changed a year later when I saw my first school musical at age 11. I was completely blown away. I went to every performance of the production of ‘Annie,’ and wished so badly that I was onstage with the cast. The following year in 7th grade, I auditioned for ‘Bye Bye Birdie,’ and I performed in all of my school’s musical theater productions from then on. I loved everything about it, and I actually thought for a while that I had found the road I would follow in life, something along the lines of choreography or theater production. I really learned so much from those experiences, and I’ll delve more deeply into those details and memories in another share soon. 

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When I was in 10th grade, our music theater director, who was also my piano teacher, wrote her own production, a sort of walk through the history of rock n’ roll. It was so much fun and a pivotal life moment for me. I was cast as John Lennon, performing in the first act singing with early-era Beatles, and in Act 2 as John in his solo career. My dance card was full, but there was a unique opportunity to do just a little bit more.

Act 1 of the production included 50’s and 60’s solo acts and groups, including of course, The Shangri-Las. One of the singers was unable to make the matinee performances due to religious services on the weekend, and the director was looking for a volunteer to fill in for her. I eagerly stepped forward. So in addition to getting the chance to perform as John Lennon, I also got the chance to be a Shangri-La. 

Each cast member studied the artist they were portraying, watched videos, read about them, listened attentively to their songs. I loved girl groups from the 60’s, but I had actually never heard of the Shangri-Las, more familiar with The Crystals, The Ronettes, The Shirelles, The Supremes, etc. The song the director chose was ‘Leader of the Pack,’ and I remember watching the cast members running through it many times at rehearsals. Something about the song was stirring to me. It was fun and cool, and also had an element of sadness and darkness to it. I already knew the singing parts and dance moves pretty well, as I loved watching the other acts and performers, seeing the production come to life at rehearsals. Though once I had volunteered to join the others, including my friend Analisa (today is her birthday!), for the matinee, I had to delve a little deeper to understand and portray the feeling of the original group. 

I remember going home and listening to the original recording of ‘Leader of the Pack’ for the first time. It was even more haunting than I expected, and I felt the weight of the story, the sadness of the situation, and the gut wrenching emotion of Mary’s raw voice telling the tale. Wow, she was truly so cool and full of both grit and grace. 

As songs and music get associated and attached to memories and moments of our lives, ‘Leader of the Pack,’ became a direct remembrance of that performance and experience for me in high school. I loved being part of that song - doing the talking part with the others in the opening, learning the harmonies, helping to support Alison, who portrayed Mary, to shine through the story telling. I always loved the song, and I always was thankful for being able to participate in that performance. 

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When Mary Weiss died on January 19, my friend Laura texted me the news, and we both felt struck with an unexpected heaviness and sorrow. I hadn’t thought about the song for a while, and I immediately put on my headphones and brought it up. As I sat and listened, I felt chills through my whole body, the hair standing up on my arms. Mary’s voice was so full of emotion and passion, and I thought about what she was going through in her own life, how she had gotten to that place, what she had experienced and seen, the atmosphere and environment around her at the time. My heart felt achy and sorrowful, and at the end of the song, after the bike crash, after her grief, and when the background singers sing that simple, ‘ooh,’ and end with a repeating ‘gone gone gone gone gone gone,’ and Mary sings, ‘the leader of the pack, now he’s gone,’ I felt they were all singing about Mary, their leader of the pack, now she’s gone.

Mary’s 75th birthday was on December 28, the day after Lenny’s birthday show in Chicago, and the day before my mom’s birthday shows in New York. There was of course no way we could have known that she would be gone from this world so soon after that, but in a strange and abstract way I find myself wishing that we had sang a song from The Shangri-Las for her at one of those shows, as a birthday salute of honor. Somehow it’s nice though that her birthday was on that quiet travel day in between the shows, as though holding the space for her to play her own show, sing her own words, have her own celebration on her actual birthday.  

Learning more about Mary and about The Shangri-Las today, I found myself so touched by a few things in particular. Firstly, I really love that they named themselves after a local restaurant in their neighborhood, so much capturing the edge and honesty of their songs and messages, local gals from blue collar New York City in the 60’s, singing about the trials and tribulations of being a teenager during that time. It also amazes me that Mary and Betty were sisters, and Mary Ann and Marge were sisters, too. I was reading an interview with Mary about how much they practiced and worked out their harmonies and she said, ‘I think our voices blended so well because we were two sets of sisters.’ That’s amazing to think about, the natural way the frequencies of their voices blended as one, sharing their childhoods, their neighborhood, their high school experience. There is so much authentic essence in their voices, in those songs. It all came together organically like teenage magic. 

I also read these words from her: “I've heard we were tough, and I find that so hilarious. If you look at the old tapes, I don't think that word would even come up. Maybe it was the boots.” Reading that, she is cool and tough without realizing it - because she’s being honest and real. Being ‘tough’ isn’t about being intimidating, violent, or on defense. It’s not about scaring people, being threatening, or putting on an act. It’s not about leather jackets and heavy boots. It’s about vulnerability. There is nothing more courageous than vulnerability, rawness, honesty.

I once was talking to Lyle Lovett about having more courage, about standing on my own two feet with more confidence in uncomfortable situations, in particular, the recording studio. I said to him, ‘I know, I know, I just need to be tough,’ to which he replied, ‘you don’t need to be tough, you just need to be definite.’ <3 I think about that almost every day. It’s not about being ‘tough,’ it’s about knowing who you are and standing true in your authenticity, about surrounding yourself with like-minded people who lift you up and help you shine, who you support in their shining, too. 

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The Shangri-Las broke up in 1968, such a short time to be together. A fleeting moment within the ebbs and flows of life. Today there is a clip from ‘Remember’ that became a TikTok meme sensation, and I noticed when doing a little research that the credit sometimes gets mixed up, going to others who covered the song, or those who made the clip a popular trend with their videos. It’s a bittersweet reality, as it’s great to hear Mary’s voice crying out across the internet, showing up on different social media platforms, accompanying people’s stories and shares from all over the world, as though she is collaborating from afar. I hope it has led a good amount of viewers to delve a little deeper, seeking out the original song, introducing themselves to Mary, and to The Shangri-Las. It’s funny and ironic that the song is called, ‘Remember.’ Whether everyone knows whose voice they are hearing through headphones day after day, her voice is remembered, and its soul and sound prevail. It does makes me happy though when I check Spotify and Apple Music, because their songs have millions of listens and monthly listeners, and I also see several articles which honor the group and the songwriters. It’s a good reminder to always do our best to take that extra moment - to do our research, to be open and curious, to expand our knowledge, and to remember those who shared their voices and stories with us throughout the decades.   

Mary, we remember you always, our leader of the pack. <3  

Please in the comments share any of your favorite songs, lyrics, or musical moments from The Shangri-Las catalog of songs, and please share any memories or experiences connected with the songs. <3

This post was supposed to go out at 12:28, Mary’s birthday, but I was a little late, so it goes out at 1:19, the day she died.