Questions before October ends

A self reflection check in

There are a few days remaining of October, and this morning, before tea or coffee, again under swathes of blankets, I’m thinking about some questions I asked myself and answered last year during this week of moody shifts and darkening days. Reading my answers, I’m thinking about my life today, how things have changed or not changed, how I’m different and also the same. The goals I’ve accomplished, the ones that are still hanging in the air like ripe fruits from a tree just waiting to be plucked.

This morning, before the day fully begins and things become a little hectic as they always seem to lately, I’m going to re-answer these questions and I invite you to do the same. So get comfortable, get a mug of something cozy to drink, find your pen and notebook or computer, and let’s reflect on our separate lives together.

This is the post from last year where these questions came from.

“As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, this is the time of year when I get more contemplative than usual and tend to retreat a bit from the outside world. There are new layers of cobwebs on my brain and a heavier weight of emotional gravity, so I need extra silence and space to reflect, to fall deeply with trust into the familiar well, to write and play piano in privacy and secret solitude before doing too much public output or shared expression. This year is no exception. If I didn’t have things like music and Substack, I might be more of a hermit and find you again in mid-November, however, as you know, I cherish having this community, and it’s a gift to have a warm hearted place to stay accountable and connected with society. <3”

- JPS, October 2024

As you know well, I still feel this way today. :)

Here are the questions:

Nearing the Close of October Questions

Name:

Date, Time, Location:

How are you feeling today:

What are you listening to:

Any other sensory elements around you:

What are you working on:

What was the best part of the day today:

What was the hardest part of the day today:

What are you excited about:

What are you grateful for today:

Is there anything else you would like to accomplish today:

What are you looking forward to for tomorrow:

What’s something you can do a little better tomorrow than you did today:

What is a quote/affirmation that resonates with you today:

How are you feeling now:

I invite you to quiet your mind, set an intention, light a candle, put on some music that moves you deep into a reflective/autumnal state.

If you want to read my responses from 2024, they are there in the post above. If you’d like to read my responses from today, there are here below:

Name: Jesse Paris Smith

Date, Time, Location: October 29, 2025. 7:33am. Manhattan, NYC

How are you feeling today: I am feeling a bit drained and jet-lagged, puffy and slightly dehydrated. My brain feels a bit foggy and melted, waves of quiet emptiness/sadness in my heart. Deeply grateful for everything comforting and everyone around me that offers true understanding, and encouraged by my own brand of courage and power. I feel like a dark viking, a quiet October warrior.

What are you listening to: Timothy Monger: cycling between Witches and Guitar Case from his album The New Britton Sound. Also I can hear sounds from the street outside - cars rolling by, delivery carts, scattered fragments of conversation, a horn honk every now and then, the beeping of a school bus or truck backing up, and other unidentifiable restaurant-prep sounds.

Any other sensory elements around you: Piles of blankets offering warmth, the blue light flickering on the modem (it’s doing its work), the red light flickering on the piano humidifier (it needs a water refill).

What are you working on: Designing and ordering merchandise and preparing for upcoming events: my mom’s book launch on November 4 at Town Hall, and the US dates of the Horses 50th tour. It’s been nice to meet and collaborate with local screen printers and come up with new ideas together, including being more distinctive and sustainable about the operation, incorporating recycled bulk materials, second hand, and vintage pieces.

What was the best part of the day today: The day has only just begun, so this is really a question for later on, but the best part so far has been drinking a bottle of this lemon&lime electrolytes water my mom bought for me yesterday. I woke up feeling very dehydrated and that really pulled me back into business.

What was the hardest part of the day today: Again, this is a question I’ll have to come back to later (realizing now that I answered these in the evening last year!) but I think the hardest part of today was just waking up and remembering all the horrible things going on in the world and in our country. It’s that heavy weight we all carry and are never truly able to put down or release ourselves from. For our own survival and in order to thrive, we have to not let it rule us, but acknowledge it and decide what today is all about - are we going to focus on solutions, fight against injustice, do research and learn more, or are we going to take today to focus mainly and with passion on our own work and our personal mission of the day. It doesn’t have to be so absolute of course. The day is long and we can shift our center of attention at any point. It’s important though to be definite about our intentions whenever and however possible so we don’t get lost in it all, cause that’s exactly what’s wanted from us.

What are you excited about: Going to Michigan for the 50th anniversary of the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald events. I’ll fly there on November 8th I think, and then join the Horses tour in Oakland on November 11th. I am from Michigan and really need to be there. It recharges my spirits connecting with my roots, and this is the longest I’ve ever gone without spending time there. It does something to me, being far away for too long. I start to feel like this floating apparition, sick, un-whole. It’s urgent and medicinal for me to fly there, so I can’t wait to do that, if even for just a few days.

I’m also excited about this show we just announced yesterday, February 3 with Joseph Keckler at Joe’s Pub. I know it’s a long ways away, but it’s a goal set in stone to prepare for, and that feels exciting, something to look forward to and imagine concretely.

What are you grateful for today: I’m grateful that I’m not alone, and for examples of generosity I can sift though in my memory. It doesn’t matter if they happened today, just now, last week, a month ago, last year. I can remember moments of kindness and they can warm me with the same light with which they originally glowed.

Is there anything else you would like to accomplish today: I REALLY need to learn one particular song on piano and I’ve been desperately procrastinating just getting started. If I can focus one good hour on the sheet music, I’ll be so much happier than if I go another day putting it off for later, adding to my self made stress.

What are you looking forward to for tomorrow: Just spending time quietly at home

What’s something you can do a little better tomorrow than you did today: Well the day has only just begun and I have no idea how I will perform today! It’s kind of an exciting thought when you think about it that way. Anything at all could happen today. The way these next hours will unfold, I have NO idea. WOW. That’s kind of wild actually. It gives me a little thrill.

What is a quote/affirmation that resonates with you today: Same as last year, ‘we are holding our own,’ and also thinking about Alice in Wonderland:

“Alice laughed. ‘There’s no use trying,’ she said. ‘One can’t believe impossible things.’

I daresay you haven’t had much practice,’ said the Queen. ‘When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast. There goes the shawl again!” - Lewis Carroll

How are you feeling now: I feel better than I did before I started answering these questions, and that is a wonderful feeling. I feel focused and ready for the day. I also haven’t had breakfast yet, so I think I’ll take this moment to choose to believe as many as six impossible things. :)

---

Thank you all for reading and I hope you will take the time to answer these reflective questions, too. They are simple, but they are helpful and realigning, if even as a first step forward. Now I will sip my coffee, pretending it says ‘DRINK ME’ on the label, I’ll think about my 6 impossible things, and I’ll get to tackling my list of action items for the day. What are you up to today? How are you feeling? Share any thoughts, ideas, questions, or comments below. As always, I look forward to reading them.

FEED YOUR HEAD!

All the best,

Jesse