This was achingly beautiful, Jesse. Thank you for sharing your memories of Beverly—so vivid, so textured, so alive. I felt like I was right there beside you on those childhood trips, hearing the cuckoo clock, counting cow figurines, sneaking water ice. The tenderness in how you see her now, not just as Grandma but as Beverly—the full, complex, radiant person—is something I felt deeply. It made me think of my own grandmother, who passed before I ever got to ask her the real questions, the ones that matter most. Your line—“time is elastic and full of magic”—gave me permission to talk to her anyway. Thank you for that gift. Wishing you and your mom a joyful journey in Paris, with Beverly beside you in spirit and laughter.
One of my prized pieces of "Patti memorabilia" is a handwritten letter from Beverly she sent ehen I joined Patti's original Army of Maniacs in 1977. My own grandmother saved my mother's life in 1945 Berlin as bombs decimated much of the city. May we remember history and the sacrifices of our Elders.
One of my prized pieces of "Patti memorabilia" is a handwritten letter Beverly wrote me back in 1977 when I joined Patti's oroginal Army of Maniacs. I will pull it out and share it once I am back home. My own grandmother by the way saved my mother's life in 1945 Berlin as bombs decimated much of the city. May we remember history and the sacrifices of our own elders.
Jesse— This is a beautiful post. Today is my mother's birthday. She was born in 1936 and was a wonderful grandmother to my daughter. Today is also St. Joseph's Day, which for me meant the wonderful Zeppole di San Giuseppe, an Italian pastry. Happy spring!
Dear Jesse, Beverly has been my guardian angel since I was 16 and still is to this day. When I was 16 I ran away from the isolated rural South and got a bus ticket to NYC thinking I could do anything and make it all on my own. Turned out that I couldn't...I soon ran out of money and couldn't get a legitimate job doing anything at16. I ended up living on the floor or couch of any stranger that would take me in. I quickly learned why the word "strange" is contained in "stranger" and went through many dangerous situations. I found it safer to live on the streets and survived pretty well for a time. People in NYC seemed to be quite fascinated with a 16 year old kid with a thick Southern accent! As time went by it got harder and being gay, I turned to sex work just to be able to eat. I don't regret it but it's a brutal life at 16. Then God smiled on me and I saw Robert in a bar one night. I walked up to him and told him he and Patti were my idols since the day I laid eyes on the cover of Witt in a bookstore in Atlanta when I was 14. He was such a gentleman and so kind to me. We talked for a couple of hours and he ended up giving me your grandmother's address and the money for a bus ticket to get to Mantua. I never knew if he called her or not but when I showed up at her door soaking wet on a rainy night she said "Oh goodness, let's get you inside and put you in some dry clothes!" We talked for hours and I told her everything and there was no judgement on her part at all. In fact, that was the night I first learned what unconditional love actually meant. She let me stay there for a week and subtly convinced me that I'd had my adventure and it was time to go back home to Nashville. She let me call my parents collect and after we spoke she took the phone and told them I was safe and sound in her hands and just needed the money to get home. The money arrived quickly and Beverly made certain I got to the bus station safely and I went back to my family who were overjoyed that I had returned home. After that for the next 2 decades Beverly and I wrote to each other constantly and occasionally talked on the phone. She never hesitated to give me sound advise and helped me maneuver many difficult times as I grew up over the years. I would send her poems I'd written and foreword them to your mom who sent me several beautiful and encouraging letters about my work. I wrote a poem for Robert a few days after he passed and she wrote back at how moved she was and how exiting it was whenever one of "the kids" sent her poems that she considered better than her own. Your grandmother literally saved my life. Had I stayed in NYC I'm quite certain I would have contracted AIDS in the days before there were treatments or just ended up dead on the streets. Robert, Beverly and your mom guided me throughout my young life and I ended up in a beautiful relationship with a man I adored that lasted 35 years until he passed away not long ago. Your mom's work has helped me navigate a difficult time of grief and none of it would have happened without Beverly's support and and unconditional love, stronger and more powerful than anything I've ever known. I still talk to her often and sit back waiting for that still, small voice that guides me to this day. I even briefly got to meet Todd when I was in Mantua but he was so handsome, I was literally speechless and when he said Hello! I think just gibberish came out of my mouth and he just smiled and look at me like he completely understood. Perhaps wishful thinking on my part, but I like to think he got it. I got to know Kimberly many years ago on fb and we shared hundreds of messages back and forth for years. We talked on the phone for 3 hours one Sunday afternoon, discovering how much we had in common and she shared SO many wonderful stories and memories of her mom that I felt as though the circle was complete. I've met your mom on many occasions and once at a book signing Q&A I was the first person she pointed to and I told her the story of how much Beverly had meant to me over the years. She wasn't feeling well that night but her face lit up like a golden flame when I first mentioned her mother's name. I hung around afterward, meeting people I knew from fb but had never met in person when the director of the venue came up and thanked me for talking about Beverly and said Patti had just told him that it was the highlight of her day. Given your grandmother and your mom I was not surprised at all to discover on Substack that you were one of the most intelligent, insightful and thoughtful writers I have ever encountered. God bless your works and all the hearts and minds you have touched so deeply. Everyone in your family is like a flawlessly cut jewel, reflecting light and wisdom to millions of us all over the world! I wish I lived in NY or could still afford to visit several times a year like I used to when I was young and working. I would so love to book a counselling session with you. Getting old is hard! It hurts like hell and losing the people you have loved one by one as time so quickly goes by is really difficult. Still, I am comforted by something I discovered so many years ago, the introduction to A Course in Miracles : "Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God." Thank you for sharing about your grandmother today!
Such beautiful ways of honouring your ancestry. I love the thought of calling in characteristics of our forebears when we need to embody them ourselves. On my maternal line we’re able to date the family tree back over a thousand years. I have a practice of sometimes calling in the women from that side by saying “I am Chloe, daughter of Rosie, daughter of Mary, daughter of Daisy, daughter of Emma, daughter of Mary” etc. etc. up the line. It always feel as though it lights something up..🌿
I am at last replying to this latest most touching post. Your thoughts and words resonated deeply with me, as I, too, wished I had asked more questions of my grandparents, who were all Italian immigrants who came here as teenagers. I spent a lot of time with them, laughing and learning mostly about how to cook, for which I am eternally grateful. I think of my maternal grandmother who taught me how to make all the traditional holiday dishes, as well as homemade pastas, and much more. She never learned to read or write, so I had to take notes as I learned so that I could remember how to create a myriad of deliciousness. My family looks forward to enjoying all of these special foods every holiday. I wish I knew more about their lives in Italy, but I am so very grateful for what I did learn and for all of the priceless times I spent with them
Lovely, my such a strong resemblance, how beautiful! My grandmother visits me in dreams, she's standing at the door to her home, opens it with a welcoming smile, and embraces me in her arms. Even though there is not an invitation from her in, the love that resonates lasts always. My mom visits me in dreams, the most recent of her as if I were looking at a series of Brassai photographs, and she's wearing a different Parisian hat in every scene, smiling, which makes me smile.
happy birthday to her - never met my Irish grandad mother's parents were always closeby reunited with dad's birthmother late in her life happy spring it snowed yesterday.
I think of my grandma, Nonna , everyday. Her name was Dominica, which means Sunday. We spent every Sunday with them. Grampa, too. Everyone called her Mini. The old timers called her Mini Goo. Some or all of my 13 cousins would be there. (13 is lucky in Italy.). She and my aunts and my ma would make pasta for all. By hand. She taught me so much and I loved her with my heart and soul. ♥️🕊️. Like you loved yours. I think of Mini Goo every day. Her and I walking to church or the store. Singing songs and knowing I was her favorite. Thank you for your memories. They are always right next to us. Love ya.
What a lovely tribute to your Grandma, she always comes across as a very special woman and you were lucky to have known her and yes l’m going to repeat how much you look like her, because you do. I love the way families interweave over the years , it’s lovely to discover. I was young when my Nana died so didn’t know as much as I’d like. I remember her arms around me, playing with her clothes and shoes and hiding in her wardrobe. Picnics in the countryside and lots of laughter. When she was in hospital they wouldn’t let me see her ( she was asking for me) at 6 l wasn’t considered old enough but I clearly remember the waiting room and playing with my little brother who was crawling under the chairs. She was called Clara and my mum loved her very much and l remember the tears and hugs.
Last night was my lovely Hatha Yoga class where we saluted to spring a perfect way to end the day. Safe travels Jesse 🙏
This was achingly beautiful, Jesse. Thank you for sharing your memories of Beverly—so vivid, so textured, so alive. I felt like I was right there beside you on those childhood trips, hearing the cuckoo clock, counting cow figurines, sneaking water ice. The tenderness in how you see her now, not just as Grandma but as Beverly—the full, complex, radiant person—is something I felt deeply. It made me think of my own grandmother, who passed before I ever got to ask her the real questions, the ones that matter most. Your line—“time is elastic and full of magic”—gave me permission to talk to her anyway. Thank you for that gift. Wishing you and your mom a joyful journey in Paris, with Beverly beside you in spirit and laughter.
One of my prized pieces of "Patti memorabilia" is a handwritten letter from Beverly she sent ehen I joined Patti's original Army of Maniacs in 1977. My own grandmother saved my mother's life in 1945 Berlin as bombs decimated much of the city. May we remember history and the sacrifices of our Elders.
One of my prized pieces of "Patti memorabilia" is a handwritten letter Beverly wrote me back in 1977 when I joined Patti's oroginal Army of Maniacs. I will pull it out and share it once I am back home. My own grandmother by the way saved my mother's life in 1945 Berlin as bombs decimated much of the city. May we remember history and the sacrifices of our own elders.
Jesse— This is a beautiful post. Today is my mother's birthday. She was born in 1936 and was a wonderful grandmother to my daughter. Today is also St. Joseph's Day, which for me meant the wonderful Zeppole di San Giuseppe, an Italian pastry. Happy spring!
Dear Jesse, Beverly has been my guardian angel since I was 16 and still is to this day. When I was 16 I ran away from the isolated rural South and got a bus ticket to NYC thinking I could do anything and make it all on my own. Turned out that I couldn't...I soon ran out of money and couldn't get a legitimate job doing anything at16. I ended up living on the floor or couch of any stranger that would take me in. I quickly learned why the word "strange" is contained in "stranger" and went through many dangerous situations. I found it safer to live on the streets and survived pretty well for a time. People in NYC seemed to be quite fascinated with a 16 year old kid with a thick Southern accent! As time went by it got harder and being gay, I turned to sex work just to be able to eat. I don't regret it but it's a brutal life at 16. Then God smiled on me and I saw Robert in a bar one night. I walked up to him and told him he and Patti were my idols since the day I laid eyes on the cover of Witt in a bookstore in Atlanta when I was 14. He was such a gentleman and so kind to me. We talked for a couple of hours and he ended up giving me your grandmother's address and the money for a bus ticket to get to Mantua. I never knew if he called her or not but when I showed up at her door soaking wet on a rainy night she said "Oh goodness, let's get you inside and put you in some dry clothes!" We talked for hours and I told her everything and there was no judgement on her part at all. In fact, that was the night I first learned what unconditional love actually meant. She let me stay there for a week and subtly convinced me that I'd had my adventure and it was time to go back home to Nashville. She let me call my parents collect and after we spoke she took the phone and told them I was safe and sound in her hands and just needed the money to get home. The money arrived quickly and Beverly made certain I got to the bus station safely and I went back to my family who were overjoyed that I had returned home. After that for the next 2 decades Beverly and I wrote to each other constantly and occasionally talked on the phone. She never hesitated to give me sound advise and helped me maneuver many difficult times as I grew up over the years. I would send her poems I'd written and foreword them to your mom who sent me several beautiful and encouraging letters about my work. I wrote a poem for Robert a few days after he passed and she wrote back at how moved she was and how exiting it was whenever one of "the kids" sent her poems that she considered better than her own. Your grandmother literally saved my life. Had I stayed in NYC I'm quite certain I would have contracted AIDS in the days before there were treatments or just ended up dead on the streets. Robert, Beverly and your mom guided me throughout my young life and I ended up in a beautiful relationship with a man I adored that lasted 35 years until he passed away not long ago. Your mom's work has helped me navigate a difficult time of grief and none of it would have happened without Beverly's support and and unconditional love, stronger and more powerful than anything I've ever known. I still talk to her often and sit back waiting for that still, small voice that guides me to this day. I even briefly got to meet Todd when I was in Mantua but he was so handsome, I was literally speechless and when he said Hello! I think just gibberish came out of my mouth and he just smiled and look at me like he completely understood. Perhaps wishful thinking on my part, but I like to think he got it. I got to know Kimberly many years ago on fb and we shared hundreds of messages back and forth for years. We talked on the phone for 3 hours one Sunday afternoon, discovering how much we had in common and she shared SO many wonderful stories and memories of her mom that I felt as though the circle was complete. I've met your mom on many occasions and once at a book signing Q&A I was the first person she pointed to and I told her the story of how much Beverly had meant to me over the years. She wasn't feeling well that night but her face lit up like a golden flame when I first mentioned her mother's name. I hung around afterward, meeting people I knew from fb but had never met in person when the director of the venue came up and thanked me for talking about Beverly and said Patti had just told him that it was the highlight of her day. Given your grandmother and your mom I was not surprised at all to discover on Substack that you were one of the most intelligent, insightful and thoughtful writers I have ever encountered. God bless your works and all the hearts and minds you have touched so deeply. Everyone in your family is like a flawlessly cut jewel, reflecting light and wisdom to millions of us all over the world! I wish I lived in NY or could still afford to visit several times a year like I used to when I was young and working. I would so love to book a counselling session with you. Getting old is hard! It hurts like hell and losing the people you have loved one by one as time so quickly goes by is really difficult. Still, I am comforted by something I discovered so many years ago, the introduction to A Course in Miracles : "Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God." Thank you for sharing about your grandmother today!
You have made me happy and I am smiling....
Happy Birthday Grandma!
You look very much like her! 🌸
Such beautiful ways of honouring your ancestry. I love the thought of calling in characteristics of our forebears when we need to embody them ourselves. On my maternal line we’re able to date the family tree back over a thousand years. I have a practice of sometimes calling in the women from that side by saying “I am Chloe, daughter of Rosie, daughter of Mary, daughter of Daisy, daughter of Emma, daughter of Mary” etc. etc. up the line. It always feel as though it lights something up..🌿
I am at last replying to this latest most touching post. Your thoughts and words resonated deeply with me, as I, too, wished I had asked more questions of my grandparents, who were all Italian immigrants who came here as teenagers. I spent a lot of time with them, laughing and learning mostly about how to cook, for which I am eternally grateful. I think of my maternal grandmother who taught me how to make all the traditional holiday dishes, as well as homemade pastas, and much more. She never learned to read or write, so I had to take notes as I learned so that I could remember how to create a myriad of deliciousness. My family looks forward to enjoying all of these special foods every holiday. I wish I knew more about their lives in Italy, but I am so very grateful for what I did learn and for all of the priceless times I spent with them
Lovely, my such a strong resemblance, how beautiful! My grandmother visits me in dreams, she's standing at the door to her home, opens it with a welcoming smile, and embraces me in her arms. Even though there is not an invitation from her in, the love that resonates lasts always. My mom visits me in dreams, the most recent of her as if I were looking at a series of Brassai photographs, and she's wearing a different Parisian hat in every scene, smiling, which makes me smile.
HAPPIEST SPRING!!! Your grandmother was very kind to me when I worked with your Uncle Todd for your Mom's band.... Have a Great Spring!
happy birthday to her - never met my Irish grandad mother's parents were always closeby reunited with dad's birthmother late in her life happy spring it snowed yesterday.
I think of my grandma, Nonna , everyday. Her name was Dominica, which means Sunday. We spent every Sunday with them. Grampa, too. Everyone called her Mini. The old timers called her Mini Goo. Some or all of my 13 cousins would be there. (13 is lucky in Italy.). She and my aunts and my ma would make pasta for all. By hand. She taught me so much and I loved her with my heart and soul. ♥️🕊️. Like you loved yours. I think of Mini Goo every day. Her and I walking to church or the store. Singing songs and knowing I was her favorite. Thank you for your memories. They are always right next to us. Love ya.
What a lovely tribute to your Grandma, she always comes across as a very special woman and you were lucky to have known her and yes l’m going to repeat how much you look like her, because you do. I love the way families interweave over the years , it’s lovely to discover. I was young when my Nana died so didn’t know as much as I’d like. I remember her arms around me, playing with her clothes and shoes and hiding in her wardrobe. Picnics in the countryside and lots of laughter. When she was in hospital they wouldn’t let me see her ( she was asking for me) at 6 l wasn’t considered old enough but I clearly remember the waiting room and playing with my little brother who was crawling under the chairs. She was called Clara and my mum loved her very much and l remember the tears and hugs.
Last night was my lovely Hatha Yoga class where we saluted to spring a perfect way to end the day. Safe travels Jesse 🙏
Tonight I have successfully removed my toxic mother from my life.
I would love Beverly to be my mama.
Little Bev, you and your family and all the right friends have saved my life tonight.
Happy Birthday, Saint Beverly 🌸
All my love,
yaya 💜
You’re grandmother has a deep space in my heart. Kindness and love. Happy Spring! 🌿🐦⬛💚
OPERATION: LOVE
Promise to be kind
Promise to be respectful
Promise active listening
Promise to practice compassion
Promise to love unconditionally
Promise to love all beings on our beloved Pachamama
Promise to love Pachamama 💜