Thankyou Jesse .. I read very carefully what you have written .. I felt each ‘ nerve pinch” .. The situations you described I have found my self in far too many times..Those Condescending comments. only half thought out words kind of thrown at you .. I curl up inside .. myself try to hear the egoistic ramble from another “view”.. as the buzzing of a bee .. or an annoying fly( knowing if will fly away shortly)
Internally I am laughing - shaking my head at the presumptive nonsense ..that many people impart merely ( as my Grandmother put it) Because they like the sound of their own voice .. .. )
a quick thank you so much .. turn and run .. .might be a useful tactic.
We are under no obligation to to politely …listen to egotistic rants.. or
How about this .. “Thanks for that got to dash .. the real world is calling ..( said across your shoulder..as you saunter away laughing to your self..,
.. You write very well and have much compassion and understanding of people. Thank you .. for you being you. ( hope my reply doesn’t sound like a buzzing bee 💃🏽🫀🪶
Thank you so much for sharing this - it has helped me to unpick something very similar to your accupuncturist.
I had been feeling uncomfortable for a while and couldn't quite put my finger on it fortunately today was my last session (Chiropractor) and I don't think I will be booking more. The treatment worked but the interpersonal behaviour made me feel as if I was walking on eggshells
I also appreciate your point about how much force is behind language about what “you should” or “you need to” do. It was a revelation when I realized this—I learned it from Marshall Rosenberg’s book Nonviolent Communication. Have you read it? I would imagine you have—much of what you’re saying resonates with it. It was so helpful to learn how much more useful it is to phrase things as, “Have you considered?” And “Would you be willing?” Both of these are in line with your point about curiosity.
I really appreciate this post, Jesse—I’m glad you shared it. I was reminded that curiosity is one of the fundamental elements that Fred Rogers identified as necessary for learning. You might enjoy this list:
To add to what I wrote earlier, I think some people love to set themselves up as 'gurus,' if you will. They love to pontificate their thoughts on the world and what they think should be done. I have witnessed bully tactics being employed as they try to draw greater attention to their beliefs. I'm pretty sure I wrote some kind of random poem about it, which was placed within a post on the subject a few months ago.
I feel that everyone should be free to have their own way of dealing with whatever is outside of their immediate control—as long as it does not hurt anyone, or indeed themselves.
It’s very good, Jesse. You touch on some particularly all-too-common aspects of human nature: to be ignorant of what one doesn’t know, to be ignorant of what others may or may not know, to not even begin to comprehend how ignorant we all truly are about … nearly everything! More specifically, you’ve got your basic arrogance, your Dunning-Kruger effect, your God complexes, and good old fashioned narcissism, which if you’re a sensitive person—as you certainly seem to be!—can be very trying and tiring to deal with.
Advocating for myself is something that I’ve had difficulties with and I reeeeally dislike feeling like I’m not being taken seriously or my knowledge or ability is not being recognized. In some cases, it is simpler perhaps to just let it go and just keep on doing what you think is right for yourself. I’m working on that.
This was definitely worth writing, sharing and (for me) reading. Thanks, Jesse. 🙏
What books or teachers have given you the most comfort or restored your calm in difficult times?
The situations you describe sound very familiar to me. I would say that more than lack of curiosity is a matter of prejudices. They are blind and deaf and judge people without any knowledge at all. I try to avoid these people. If I meet them, I try not to get in touch with them anymore. They don't add things in our life, they take them away.
Thank you Jesse. I really got a lot out of your post and can relate to most of it. I also got a lot from reading the comments. I believe that is what happens when people vent/share to a group.
We are all individuals as you mentioned but we can also relate to shared experiences.
It’s taken a long time for me in respect to over zealous “helpers” Today and I’m 67, today if I find myself in that situation I put a mirror up between me and the person. In my mind I reflect it back to them in the hope they will listen to what they are saying, hopefully realise it’s something they should be saying to themselves.
Like an elderly person who repeats the same thing as it is possibly something very important that they don’t want to forget. Maybe? Possibly? I am just pondering 🤔
Thank you for sharing this Jesse. I think this is a good essay on how to listen how to be curious and not to be bossy or assuming or lecturing and ask questions and be curious of others. I think our society has become more narcisstic so there is more of what you described. I am grateful you shared because it was a good reminder for ME of how I need to move through the world with more curiosity, more compassion,more empathy and not making assumptions. ❤️
Thank you so much for this post. I recently changed my Drs. because of some of these things. I now have better communication with the new care and they actually listen to what I need. Have a beautiful rest of your day.
Thankyou Jesse .. I read very carefully what you have written .. I felt each ‘ nerve pinch” .. The situations you described I have found my self in far too many times..Those Condescending comments. only half thought out words kind of thrown at you .. I curl up inside .. myself try to hear the egoistic ramble from another “view”.. as the buzzing of a bee .. or an annoying fly( knowing if will fly away shortly)
Internally I am laughing - shaking my head at the presumptive nonsense ..that many people impart merely ( as my Grandmother put it) Because they like the sound of their own voice .. .. )
a quick thank you so much .. turn and run .. .might be a useful tactic.
We are under no obligation to to politely …listen to egotistic rants.. or
How about this .. “Thanks for that got to dash .. the real world is calling ..( said across your shoulder..as you saunter away laughing to your self..,
.. You write very well and have much compassion and understanding of people. Thank you .. for you being you. ( hope my reply doesn’t sound like a buzzing bee 💃🏽🫀🪶
The message I needed to read today -- thank you, Jesse :)
Thank you so much for sharing this - it has helped me to unpick something very similar to your accupuncturist.
I had been feeling uncomfortable for a while and couldn't quite put my finger on it fortunately today was my last session (Chiropractor) and I don't think I will be booking more. The treatment worked but the interpersonal behaviour made me feel as if I was walking on eggshells
Thank you so much for sharing Jesse, I feel much gratitude for this beautiful reminder!
Love and respect all~ways.
I also appreciate your point about how much force is behind language about what “you should” or “you need to” do. It was a revelation when I realized this—I learned it from Marshall Rosenberg’s book Nonviolent Communication. Have you read it? I would imagine you have—much of what you’re saying resonates with it. It was so helpful to learn how much more useful it is to phrase things as, “Have you considered?” And “Would you be willing?” Both of these are in line with your point about curiosity.
I really appreciate this post, Jesse—I’m glad you shared it. I was reminded that curiosity is one of the fundamental elements that Fred Rogers identified as necessary for learning. You might enjoy this list:
https://www.fredrogersinstitute.org/6fundamentals
To add to what I wrote earlier, I think some people love to set themselves up as 'gurus,' if you will. They love to pontificate their thoughts on the world and what they think should be done. I have witnessed bully tactics being employed as they try to draw greater attention to their beliefs. I'm pretty sure I wrote some kind of random poem about it, which was placed within a post on the subject a few months ago.
I feel that everyone should be free to have their own way of dealing with whatever is outside of their immediate control—as long as it does not hurt anyone, or indeed themselves.
It’s very good, Jesse. You touch on some particularly all-too-common aspects of human nature: to be ignorant of what one doesn’t know, to be ignorant of what others may or may not know, to not even begin to comprehend how ignorant we all truly are about … nearly everything! More specifically, you’ve got your basic arrogance, your Dunning-Kruger effect, your God complexes, and good old fashioned narcissism, which if you’re a sensitive person—as you certainly seem to be!—can be very trying and tiring to deal with.
Advocating for myself is something that I’ve had difficulties with and I reeeeally dislike feeling like I’m not being taken seriously or my knowledge or ability is not being recognized. In some cases, it is simpler perhaps to just let it go and just keep on doing what you think is right for yourself. I’m working on that.
This was definitely worth writing, sharing and (for me) reading. Thanks, Jesse. 🙏
What books or teachers have given you the most comfort or restored your calm in difficult times?
The situations you describe sound very familiar to me. I would say that more than lack of curiosity is a matter of prejudices. They are blind and deaf and judge people without any knowledge at all. I try to avoid these people. If I meet them, I try not to get in touch with them anymore. They don't add things in our life, they take them away.
Thanks Jesse. I can relate……
Thank you Jesse. I really got a lot out of your post and can relate to most of it. I also got a lot from reading the comments. I believe that is what happens when people vent/share to a group.
We are all individuals as you mentioned but we can also relate to shared experiences.
It’s taken a long time for me in respect to over zealous “helpers” Today and I’m 67, today if I find myself in that situation I put a mirror up between me and the person. In my mind I reflect it back to them in the hope they will listen to what they are saying, hopefully realise it’s something they should be saying to themselves.
Like an elderly person who repeats the same thing as it is possibly something very important that they don’t want to forget. Maybe? Possibly? I am just pondering 🤔
Your post helped me conceptualize something that has been bothering me about a situation at work. You’re wise! Thanks, Jesse!
Wow! What a lovely bit of ventilation. Yes, curiosity, despite the old saying, never kills the cat but makes it wiser.
I loved your venting.........and could relate to so much of what you expressed.
Thank you for sharing this Jesse. I think this is a good essay on how to listen how to be curious and not to be bossy or assuming or lecturing and ask questions and be curious of others. I think our society has become more narcisstic so there is more of what you described. I am grateful you shared because it was a good reminder for ME of how I need to move through the world with more curiosity, more compassion,more empathy and not making assumptions. ❤️
Thank you so much for this post. I recently changed my Drs. because of some of these things. I now have better communication with the new care and they actually listen to what I need. Have a beautiful rest of your day.