Every Goal in Present Tense

It really works!!

Hello, everyone. How are you feeling? <3

As I begin writing to you now, it’s been exactly 20 days since my last Substack post. When I first launched my Substack in December 2023, my goal was to post twice weekly, and for the most part, I’ve been able to keep up. This now is my 77th published post, along with 21 more drafts not yet completed.

20 days since my last post. Such a long time and so much has happened - in the world, in our country. We each have stories to tell from this last week especially, and I’m sure we’ve all experienced immeasurable shifts of daily emotion. I’ve certainly had my share of racing heart and heinous nightmares influenced by travels into the blackhole of the newly updated White House website, articles and news reports, outlines of anti-human plans already put into motion. Most of us have probably been alternating between the mental spaces of doom and denial, keeping imminent reality at a distant arm’s length, not quite ready to accept it’s arrival, staving off the miserable defeat of acceptance for just one more day in the hopeful case that a miracle happens and things decide to rapidly change course for the better.

There are times of denial and there are times where our guards come crashing down, when we succumb to fact and allow ourselves to read the articles, watch the news, have discussions, venture deep into those terrifying wormholes. When we get into a rhythm like this, a few different things tend to happen:

1. It is all too terrible that we find ourselves overwhelmed with intense feelings of fear and grief, devastated by the reality of our world, the traumatic sensations of stored memories from the last time we had to deal with this, the last time our lives were personally threatened and turned upside-down. We feel paralyzed, heartbroken, terrified, disgusted, anxious, depressed. Maybe we get into endless cycles of doom thinking that lead us nowhere. Maybe we want to hide from everything, stay in bed, run away, disappear - different levels or changing combinations of flight, freeze, fawn.

2. It is all too terrible that we respond by disconnecting from the news/media completely and focusing on our own work, not allowing unwelcome energies to infiltrate our lives, honoring our our pursuit of happiness, our purposes and goals, our missions and visions, and sticking to them without veering off course.

3. It is all too terrible that we respond with immediate and urgent action - fighting the pain and fear by doing something about it, being part of the solution, any solution. Contacting our colleagues, friends, volunteers, organizations, like-minded individuals and groups to collaborate with on projects, events, and initiatives focused on the topics that mean the most to us.

For me, I have vacillated between all 3 of these, and I think that is the key to staying well balanced in both staying informed and staying sane. We need to do our work, we need to take care of ourselves, we need to know what’s going on, and we need to stand for justice and be part of the solution. We need to be there for each other and we need to hold on fully to hope.

Along with women’s rights, education, and other critical issues, the climate crisis and maintaining a livable planet for our species is deeply important to me. I’m the co-founder of 2 climate action non-profits, and last week, after a few midnight hours of traveling into the terrifying wormholes of the internet, I called a brainstorm meeting with our team, which of course was responded to with the same energy in which it was presented. I don’t remember a Zoom meeting date and time being agreed to so quickly by a group of people spread out across different timezones. Talking with Becky (the co-founder of our organization) from our shared state of urgency and fear, we pulled together an outline of action plans and goals with immediate clarity, and this softened and momentarily eased the anxiety we both felt, as it always does. The best way to get out of something bad is it to do something else. Break the path do something different, challenge the current reality with another option, a solution. It sounds simple, but it’s extremely important, and so often we don’t realize how powerful we are.

It is okay - in fact, it is necessary and needed to feel everything we need to feel. It is not okay to rush quickly passed our emotions. These topics are extremely heavy and loaded - they not only affect and measure our quality of life, but affect and measure the very existence of our future. A promise to either evolve or destruct. A promise for things to spiral into chaos and nothingness, or for future generations to live and thrive. It’s very scary, and the unknown can feel like a dark cloud of impending doom following us everywhere we go. It can make us think thoughts like, ‘what’s the point?’ or ‘why bother?’ And those are very sad and heavy thoughts to think.

So yes, we need to allow ourselves to feel, to express, and process. We need to allow ourselves time to rest and restore in the present, to clear our minds and be ready for the next move. We need to reach out to each other and talk about what we’re going through, and we need to engage fully in solutions and action.

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Now on that note, I want to share a strategy that has REALLY worked for me this month.

On this recent New Year’s Eve, I shared a post about my personal wish for us all, along with an exercise for reflection and first steps of goal planning.

A New Year's Eve Wish <3

This was my wish for us which continues each day:

“My greatest wish today, is that we can access our boldness and our confidence in ourselves, to arm ourselves with the tools we each need to walk strongly into this new year. I wish us all unwavering confidence in ourselves and belief in our abilities, to become who we are truly meant to be and do the things we are meant to do.”

<3

This next part is what I want to focus on now.

“After reflecting on 2024, we can make nice wishes for 2025 - a small list of the things we are hoping for and wanting, and manifest them in present tense.

‘I will write a book.’

‘I have written a book.’

‘I will be a writer.’

‘I am a writer.’

‘I will publish a book this year.’

‘I am a published author.’

‘I’m going to finish writing my book.’

‘My book is done.’

(In each case) both feel good to read, though somehow it feels better to read that our mission and goal has been satisfied. When our brain reads something in the present tense, it feels that the process has already started, not that it could be started later. It put our process in the NOW, instead of leaving it again and again for a hypothetical tomorrow.

We can think of some simple broad goals that first come to mind from these three categories and write them for ourselves in present, positive, and personal tense.”

Directly after writing this post, I made my own list of present tense goals. I loved writing them, though I found the experience of saying them out loud, hearing them as a true and current reality, felt so good in my body and brain. It was so good in fact, that I continued to say them to myself every day. No matter what I was doing, I would say these simple present tense statements to myself - while walking, riding the subway, cleaning the apartment, anytime. I experimented with different ways of stating them, noticing the varied effects on my mental state and body. The way I physically felt different before and after.

Even though this was making me very happy, I thought I might be moving through too many different goals and topics throughout the day, so I decided to choose 2 primary large goals to focus on. I found a short and simple statement for each one, in present, positive, and personal tense.

I said and thought them continuously, many times throughout the day, and soon I found myself making new moves and great strides to realize them both into full realities. Neither of these goals were new or spontaneous. One of them was something I’ve wanted to do since I was a teenager, and the other I’ve been considering for the last 2-3 years. I’ve done tons research for each, have dipped in and out of progress, been paralyzed by indecision and overthinking, ruled by my own analysis paralysis and the fears of imposter syndrome. With this exercise though, it was newly clear. I continued to see my goals as if they were fully completed, already part of my personality, my life, my career, my biography, and I found myself doing everything in my power to turn this into truth.

I chose those two specific goals to focus on because I knew they could be put into action within a month or so, where other goals will be more complex and longterm in their strategies. My goals are deeply important to me, so I wanted to start with ones I knew I could complete and master before delving into the others. It might sound silly or strange but I really can’t express this enough:

SAYING THEM IN PRESENT TENSE WORKED.

In the same way my brilliant friend Dr. Jaycee Mayers leads her clients to unbelievable success through an intricate and powerful process of creating intentional vision boards, I found that seeing myself as already completing my goals led me to making them a full reality. I took action, I made bold choices, I didn’t worry if they were the right ones or not, I took steps, I moved forward, I shifted my reality to match my desired outcome.

Every new step will lead to the next step.

That sounds SO simple and silly, but it’s not. We allow ourselves to get so caught up in ‘making the right decision’ as I affectionately and often refer to as ‘analysis paralysis.’ My best teachers and mentors have told me the same advice, just move towards something, take a step, make an action, get out of that stagnate cob web space of ‘trying to figure it out.’ Take real, physical, and tangible action. We do it every day with every choice and decision we make. We feel hungry so we leave the house, we buy groceries, we cook, we go to a restaurant. Those are all decisions made, actions taken, and goals achieved with success. We do it every single day and we don’t realize how powerful we are, that all the tools we need are right there within us all the time.

This is certainly not always a linear process, and it doesn’t always feel so good along the way. Sometimes we take actions that don’t lead directly to the progress and results we want. Sometimes we make bold steps that actually make us feel sad and confused. But the fact is, we took a step, we made an action, and even if they didn’t bring the immediate results we expected, they always lead to the next thing when we continue to move. It is only when we let ‘fear of the unknown’ hold us back that we find ourselves stuck and not progressing. It’s only when we are unkind and judge ourselves, when we lose the chance to see our achievements, our efforts, when we forget to believe in ourselves and have faith in our abilities. Everything will work out exactly as it’s meant to. And if we keep pushing and something really isn’t working, we can always tap into our creativity and make a different move, try something else, an alternate solution, a new path.

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Today I am less than 1 month out from starting the exercise of saying my goals in present tense, and I can share with you now that I have fully completed one of them to fruition, and I have laid out ALL of the steps and plans needed to complete the other. With both of these goals, I took big, bold, and scary action steps to make them happen. I stepped fully out of my comfort zone and it set everything in motion. There were times when I felt uncomfortable, when I cried, when I doubted myself, but I kept going, and I will continue to. <3

It’s a simple exercise but it worked for me - it shifted my brain, put me fully in my body, and it shifted the way I took tangible action towards achieving both of these things. Everything I did seemed to inform the eventual reality of these things becoming real, and it happened faster than it would have because of my new mental state.

Now I am ready to tackle more goals, and to put the wheels in motion for those larger, more complex, long term goals.

I started writing them all down today, and once again I was overwhelmed by the number, so I separated them into categories to keep them organized:

Health and Wellness

Career

Quality of Life

Learning and Education

Hobbies and Fun

Relationships

From these larger categories I found that ‘career’ for example, needed to be broken down into sub-categories to keep things extra clear and organized.

Once I finished writing down all my goals, I separated them mentally into short term/one time and long-term/ongoing. I realized that one of my struggles is often time management, so as much as it pained me, I also had to prioritize them in order. In an ideal world, I would love to do EVERYTHING and follow all of the paths, but you have to start somewhere, you can’t start from everywhere. Everywhere is already there in my brain, all of my interests and goals are co-mingling there in the form of curiosity and passion, but I have to tackle them more strategically to make them happen, and also need to take bold and actionable steps to see if they are actually things I want to pursue in the longterm and form my life around.

So I chose the ones that are non-negotiable first. The ones that I HAVE to do in this life. Everything else will follow suit, fall into place.

As it says on my About page, I believe that our passions and interests are interrelated, all connected, they all inform each other. They are who we are.

“Though these parts of life may (or might not) seem quite separate and different, they continue to flow in and out of each other, to elevate and inform, and to surprise me in meaningful and life-changing ways.”

But we can’t start from everywhere, we have to start from somewhere. And we owe it to ourselves to recognize the goals that mean the most to us, to recognize our purpose and make sure we are designing a life that will lead us to live our dreams.

Takeaway from this post

What makes us feel better? What leads to achieving our goals?

-Taking action, making a shift, challenging the present reality with a new move, a new option, a solution

-Finding like-minded individuals and groups, connecting with community, and reaching out to others

-Recognizing our power, our abilities, our successes, our strengths, and our achievements. Realizing what works and what doesn’t, and applying that formula to anything we want to do.

-Writing out goals, thinking them, and saying them out loud in present, positive personal, tense

-Being kind and patient with ourselves

-Staying connected with compassion and hope <3

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Thank you all so much for reading. I hope you will share any thoughts you have in the comments. As always, I look forward to reading anything you would like to share.

All the best to you all and have a great day <3

Jesse