Saying Hello from Paris

A sleepy interlude before the next thing

Hello everyone,

I am in Paris right now, packing my suitcase and getting ready to fly back home to NYC. It’s been a whirlwind of a trip - London, Paris, Lisbon, Braga, Paris again. There is so much to share, so many pictures and stories. The full moon, the penumbral lunar eclipse. Sickness and sleepiness, high moments and low ones, the spectrum of all things. I always am able to carve out my time to prioritize my Substack posts, trying to make sure they go out on Tuesdays and Thursdays. This week however, I had a gut sickness so my mind has been a little bit melty, and writing has been tucked into bed and resting peacefully. I have been though on a 14 week streak since launching my site, and I want to keep it going. So today is a simple post, a check in, a hello to you.

I looked up March 28 and saw that today is the death anniversary date of both Virginia Woolf, who died in 1941, and Ryuichi Sakamoto, who died last year in 2023. I felt somehow that Virginia’s words and Sakamoto’s music go nicely together, in this warm and melancholy way, truthful and kind, a bit heavy and somber and also a sort of sweetness somehow. So today we can read the words of Virginia Woolf while we listen to the music of Sakamoto.

On this topic, I want to share something that personally broke my heart while I was traveling. While we were in London, I got this text from my dear old friend, Mike Campbell: ‘Some sad news… Steve Harley passed away today. He was a special and unique talent. I always enjoy revisiting his work, and I’m so glad he was able to give those albums to the world. I hope his soul is in joyful peace now.’ When I was around 20, Mike found some Cockney Rebel albums at a record store, and we would listen to those songs again and again. We even performed ‘Mr Raffles,’ a few times as part of our musical duo together. I had never heard of Cockney Rebel before, but we recognized ‘Make Me Smile,’ as a popular song from the radio or movie, a song to dance and sing along with. We would listen intently to ‘Death Trip,’ in silence, taken aback by the lyrics and its’ contemplative spirit. We wondered what the song was about, what was the inspiration, and talked about the ending lyric, ‘can you think of one good reason to remain? To remain? To remain? To remain?’ Even though I liked them so much, the songs gave me a feeling of anxiety sometimes when I was younger. Something about them felt innately sad, heavy and strange, with some kind of attitude that I couldn’t always decide if I liked. Years later though, I revisited the songs again, and they felt more childlike and kind somehow, no longer anxiety producing, but with a raw and innocent warmth that touched my heart. They felt friendly. <3

Before I flew to London, I was listening to ‘Tumbling Down’ on repeat again and again, singing the words out loudly, smiling with tears in my eyes. The ending words, ‘Ohhh dear, look what they’ve done to the blues, blues, blues,’ I sang out loud in my bathroom while getting ready, my hands in the air like a conductor, imagining a big crowd singing along with me, laughing, crying, arms around strangers, swaying back and forth. It reminded me of one of my favorite songs by Great Lakes Myth Society called ‘Isabella County, 1992.’ The song ends in a similar fashion with a grand build up to the words, ‘In a town where the drinkers are plowed like the roads, in a heap ‘round their breakfast in yesterday’s clothes, Sweetheart this city has beautiful, beautiful snow!’ With this song, I have had those exact moments like I imagined in the bathroom, holding a drink in the air, shouting out the lyrics along with the band, smiling through tears, surrounded by strangers who in that moment felt like my dearest and oldest friends. It’s those kinds of songs that always bring you to that same nostalgic feeling, sometimes from a real memory and sometimes an imagined one, but really it doesn’t matter, the feeling is all the same.

It was only 2 days later after having that moment that Mike texted me the news about Steve Harley, and the news brought me a kind of sadness as though he was a dear old friend. In reality, I’ve never met him, I’ve never seen him perform live, but when a person whose work we admire dies, sometimes their songs can seem sadder than ever, and a little piece of our heart breaks knowing they are no longer in the world with us, never going to play another note, never going to write another word.

I wanted to post and share about this, but while I was in London, I couldn’t even listen to his songs. Something about them just broke my heart too much and I can’t even explain why. We don’t always need to explain these things, sometimes they just are.

So today on March 28, as I pack my suitcase to wave goodbye to Paris, I’ll also send a meditative solute and bow to Virginia and Sakamoto who gave so much beautiful work to the world. And as I go, I’ll wave to Steve Harley, not to say goodbye, but to say that I am remembering him, and listening to his songs and words, looking forward to singing them myself one day, or embracing the shoulder of a stranger, swaying back and forth through joyous tears, if not in this reality, then maybe in a dream.

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Today is also the death date of my beautiful friend Christine Zounek, who died on this date exactly 10 years ago today. I am thinking of her today, holding joyful love in my heart for her and the beautiful life she lived. If you are ever in Greenpoint, you can walk to Milton street between Franklin Street and Manhattan Ave and see that the street sign was re-named for her. She was warmly loved and her truly missed. <3

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Such special souls walk the Earth and like all of us, at some point they must leave. It’s truly the saddest and most difficult part of life. Together we can remember all of our departed friends and loved ones, keeping their memories and memberships alive, and helping each other to comfort in our longing and sorrowful moments. Is there anyone you are missing or thinking of today? Put their names and anything you want to share in the comments. Sending warmth and love to you all. <3